~ Rules For Kitty To Remember ~
If you must give a present to a family member, remember that your toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.
You cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds feeding on the lawn.
You will never be able to walk on the ceiling, so staring at it will not bring it any closer.
You are a carnivore....potted plants are not meat.
The cat food is already dead. You do not need to try and kill it by swatting bits of it across the floor.
If you put a live mouse in your food bowl, you should not expect it to stay there until you get hungry.
The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. You will not sit there and watch him constantly......no matter what sadistic amusement you get by doing so.
No matter how dangly and attractive they are, earrings are not cat toys.
If you choose to play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in the groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
Even though you may hear voices in your head, you don't have to constantly answer them.

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