Lily Allen Spoof

[fat_bastard]

I've been piecing this little spoof together for a few weeks now, and I think it's finally done. The pacing is a little off in places, and it's hard to concentrate on making it fit with her singing over it, but until I find a karaoke version it'll have to do. I actually quite like Lily Allen but I've spent so many mornings building on it in the shower that I just had to vent somewhere. It's far from Weird Al Yankovich, but I'm quite pleased with it for my first.

You'll have to try to blend it in over her vocals, I'm afraid. I just tried it and it's easier said than done. Really need an instrumental...
Oh well, here goes!

Original:



I pretend to be poor, but I'm actually loaded.
My voice sounds so sweet, it makes my words sugar coated,
But in actual fact they are sharper than acid.
My face is enough to make your penis go flaccid.

I try to pretend that I come from the ghetto,
I wear tacky white trainers instead of red stilettos.
I just bought a beach on the coast of Jamaica,
Would you still like me if you knew that I was a faker?

You won't know what's true and what's false, any more.
You can't be sure that I've got a pulse, any more.
I try to pretend that I'm someone I'm not.
'Cause that's what you do in the shallow world of pop.

I pick fights with celebs who are stupid but pretty,
Next to them makes my comments look so clever and witty.
I deliver my punches through use of the papers,
I could live in the woods and start a fight with my neighbours.

And yet I'm so nice when I speak to reporters,
I've a name of my own, I'm not just Keith Allen's daughter,
But that puts a taint on my chavvy persona,
I'm in the bank so much that I'm best friends with the owner.

You won't know what's true and what's false, any more.
You can't be sure that I've got a pulse, any more.
I try to pretend that I'm someone I'm not.
'Cause that's what you do in the shallow world of pop.

A bitch or an angel, I'm not sure which to be,
It's so hard to decide when they're all staring at me.
Is it so wrong to be somebody unlike myself,
When it keeps all my records whizzing off of the shelf?

You won't know what's true and what's false, any more.
You can't be sure that I've got a pulse, any more.
I try to pretend that I'm someone I'm not.
'Cause that's what you do in the shallow world of pop.


Ta-da!

...Guys?


.........Guys?



...................Hmmm.

[Jack Flash]

http://audacity.sourceforge.net/download/features-1.3-a


see Effects
New Vocal Remover plug-in, improvements for Generate effects.




can't wait to hear you sing

then again you may be good - who knows

[Don't Blink]

can't wait to hear you sing

then again you may be good - who knows

I'm thinking weird Al in drag - but hey he's funny, has a good time, and has made a damn good living

[fat_bastard]

I suppose the most accurate way to describe my singing voice is a tone deaf Macy Grey. Are you sure you want to hear that?
Actually, I know what the answer is. No, I'm not! Not for any amount of money!

And I only ever go in drag to earn a little money on people's birthdays. There's a strict no touching policy, so don't think any less of me.

[Jack Flash]

I suppose the most accurate way to describe my singing voice is a tone deaf Macy Grey. Are you sure you want to hear that?
Actually, I know what the answer is. No, I'm not! Not for any amount of money!

And I only ever go in drag to earn a little money on people's birthdays. There's a strict no touching policy, so don't think any less of me.

I'll put up 104 Dirtz Dollars

[fat_bastard]

Can these be exchanged for a cash prize? It's just that I'd really like to cling to the tattered remains of my dignity for a long as possible, and I'm not willing to let it all go without a considerable reward. I may need it for something important.

[Don't Blink]

Can these be exchanged for a cash prize?

Um yeah sure


well they may be worth more than the pound soon anyway

[Jack Flash]

Come on folks We need your contributions

After all we're talking about seeing FB in drag

[fat_bastard]

Hey! I never said anything about drag! Though I suppose we could negotiate for Cerina's hand in marriage. As long as she pays for it.

[Spirit of Desire]

Hey! I never said anything about drag! Though I suppose we could negotiate for Cerina's hand in marriage. As long as she pays for it.

You dont want to do that.

Cerina is like my mum, you would have to take me on as my dad.

[Don't Blink]

Cerina is like my mum, you would have to take me on as my dad.

Come on now we are trying to talk him in to this - not out of this

[Spirit of Desire]

Cerina is like my mum, you would have to take me on as my dad.

Come on now we are trying to talk him in to this - not out of this

I would love to have FB as a dad. Its just wether he would want me that is the problem.

[mid_nite_poet]

Hey! I never said anything about drag! Though I suppose we could negotiate for Cerina's hand in marriage. As long as she pays for it.

Cerina's hand in marriage..Think she might have something to say about that.
FB in drag.. might be worth seeing..
FB as Spod's dad... Interesting.

[fat_bastard]

I'm all for it. I shall teach him how to hunt and skin animals, and how to dress in the appropriate tribal attire. If he survives the seven challenges of Thor I shall take him high into the mountains and entrust him with the dance of the elders, which shall make him irresistible to women, horses and sheep. Then I shall truly be able to call him my son.

Come, young one. We have much to discuss.

[cerina]

Scarily, this could be the ideal family.

[admin]

Scarily, this could be the ideal family.

ummm I think I'm getting a mental picture

[mid_nite_poet]

Now that is a scary picture

[fat_bastard]

Just call me uncle Fester.

[Jack Flash]

Just call me uncle Fester.

Oh fine I'll be cousin it



Oh thing could you come here for a moment ... and bring some lotion with you









































Hair conditioning lotion What were you were thinking

[fat_bastard]

I knocked up another one this morning. Then I sent her home and wrote this song. *Badum-tsh!*
I think this one's a little better than the first, seeing as it's less personal. I might tweak it a little over the week.
I found a bloody karaoke version! Though it's still got the backing vocals which is bit of a kick in the balls.

Still, open it in a new tab and try fitting it in. You have to stretch the "You're lucky that" for as long as it takes for her to sing "Oh it's not fair" in the chorus, by the way. That confused me at first when I tried singing/murdering it.

[-= Embedding Disabled by Copyright =-]

Oh she takes all of my cash,
She spends it all on clothes and shoes.
She goes out with her other mates,
Comes home and stinks of fags and booze.

You know I've never met a girl,
Who treats me like I'm such a fool,
She's bloody lucky that she's so good,
When she's handling my tool.

There's just one thing that makes me want to stay,
When we go up to bed you're happy to ride me all day.
I look into your eyes; they're dark and filled with passion.
You're addicted to sex like it's going out of fashion.

You're lucky that you're awesome in the sack,
You're awesome in the sack,
You're awesome in the sack,
'Cos otherwise I'd leave and I'd not be coming back,
I'd not be coming back.

You're lucky that you're good at giving head,
You're good at giving head,
You're good at giving head,
'Cos once you look past that our relationship is dead,
Our relationship is dead.

I'm lying in bed next to you,
Wondering how did I get here?
I thought I had a decent job,
I'm earning forty grand a year.

And yet I've got no money left,
In fact I'm fifty pounds in debt.
I can't help wondering why haven't I,
Just upped and left you yet?

There's just one thing that makes me want to stay,
When we go up to bed you're happy to ride me all day.
I look into your eyes; they're dark and filled with passion.
You're addicted to sex like it's going out of fashion.

You're lucky that you're awesome in the sack,
You're awesome in the sack,
You're awesome in the sack,
'Cos otherwise I'd leave and I'd not be coming back,
I'd not be coming back.

You're lucky that you're good at giving head,
You're good at giving head,
You're good at giving head,
'Cos once you look past that our relationship is dead,
Our relationship is dead.

There's just one thing that makes me want to stay,
When we go up to bed you're happy to ride me all day.
I look into your eyes; they're dark and filled with passion.
You're addicted to sex like it's going out of fashion.

You're lucky that you're awesome in the sack,
You're awesome in the sack,
You're awesome in the sack,
'Cos otherwise I'd leave and I'd not be coming back,
I'd not be coming back.

You're lucky that you're good at giving head,
You're good at giving head,
You're good at giving head,
'Cos once you look past that our relationship is dead,
Our relationship is dead.

[cerina]

You are on good form, FB.

[mid_nite_poet]

Catchy tune...Your lyrics are real good FB

[fat_bastard]

Thanks guys! It's about time I came up with something half-decent. I've been due for years.

[Don't Blink]

Sounds like you met a girl with dentures