Bar jokes

[Dixie]

So this hydrogen atom walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. He says to the bartender, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’ The bartender says, ‘Are you sure?’ The electron says, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’


So this carton of yogurt walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, we don’t serve yogurt in here.’ The yogurt says, ‘Why not? I’m a cultured individual.’



So this grasshopper walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, we have a drink named after you.’ The grasshopper says, ‘Really? You have a drink named Steve?’



So this string walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, we don’t serve string here.’ The string goes back outside, ruffs himself up in the street, curls up, and walks back into the bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, are you a string?’ The string says, ‘No, I’m a frayed knot.’



So this skeleton walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer and a mop.



So this goat walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, we don’t serve goats here.’ The goat says, ‘Why not?’ The bartender says, ‘We don’t serve kids.’



So this mushroom walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Then he starts hitting on the woman sitting next to him. He asks her out on a date and she says no. The mushroom says, ‘Come on, lady, I’m a fun guy.’



So this horse walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, why the long face?’



So this neutron walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender promptly serves up a cold one. The neutron asks, ‘How much will that be?’ The bartender says, ‘For you? No charge.’

[SickCert]

So this neutron walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender promptly serves up a cold one. The neutron asks, ‘How much will that be?’ The bartender says, ‘For you? No charge.’

Terrible!

[Dixie]

Yeah I think they're meant to be corny

[THE_SiXth]

The long face one gets me every time

Kinda like the
Where would you find a turtle with no legs............





Exactly where you left him!!!

*wanders off chuckling to herself*

[argylesox]

So this horse walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, ‘Hey, buddy, why the long face?’

John Kerry walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender says, 'Hey John, why the long face?'