Beware

[Maxie]

This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware of..

THE CLINTON Virus... (Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO
memory)

THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out
of an old floppy)

THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then Emails everyone about what it did)

THE MIKE TYSON virus... (Quits after two bytes)

THE OPRAH WINFREY virus... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to
100mb, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200MB)

THE JACK KAVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files)

THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer be inserted)

THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your
processor doesn't care)

THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... (Only attacks minor files)

IHE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus (Terminates some files, leaves,

but will be back)

THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5

inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)