Blonde Jokes

[mr wiseguy]

ive been downstairs

[cerina]

Not in my house, you haven't.

[Ice Queen]

[mr wiseguy]

when i was there last you told me it was downsyairs to the playground
and as im a good boy i did as i was told

and iq shush ours is a secret

[mid_nite_poet]

the disadvantages of being blond some days

[mr wiseguy]

oy mnp you keep quiet too



i promised you i would not say anything and have stuck to my word

[mid_nite_poet]

ok...

[Hypnot]

Here's another one:

A blond is walking down the sidewalk.
She sees a banana peel in the walk in front of her and says, "Oh no, here we go again."

[cerina]

[mr wiseguy]

typical

[Ice Queen]

Here's another:

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals.
She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend said, "O.K. then, what's the capital of France?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

[mid_nite_poet]

Time for a BLOND MAN Joke

A woman stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling her tank, she paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As she stood by her car to drink her cola, she watched a couple of blonde men working along the roadside.

One blonde man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other blonde man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the lady with the soft drink and went on down the road.

"I can't stand this," said the woman, tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," she said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

"You don't understand, lady," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there are three of us - me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney is sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."
----------------------------------------------------------------------



A big, buff, and burly blonde man goes into the local drug store to buy some rubbers, so that he will be able to practice safe sex with his new girlfriend.

The blonde guy walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for this box of rubbers?"

"Well, condoms are $1.00 for a box of three," the pharmacist replied. "Plus seven cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde man, "I wondered how you kept them on."

[sapphire]

"I wondered how you kept them on."

ouch, lmao

[cerina]

[mr wiseguy]

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

[mid_nite_poet]

A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.

[mr wiseguy]

[cerina]

[mr wiseguy]

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed. "But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well, then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door," the man said. She did.
He then said, "Now get on your knees". She did.
"Now take down my zipper." She did.
"Now go ahead .. Take it out...." he said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands ... Then paused.
The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well ... Go ahead."
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it...and while holding it close to her lips,
Tentatively said...........



"Hello, Mom, can you hear me?"

[mid_nite_poet]

[cerina]

[mugley]

A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.

On the third floor a man gets on who's perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor.

Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Someone should give him Head & Shoulders."

To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?"

[mid_nite_poet]

[Maxie]