Blonde Jokes

[mugley]

A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh. Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location.
She responds "It's really cool. If you put your ear up against it, you can smell the ocean!"

[cerina]

[mugley]

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck', and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, 'I have some really great news!'
I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant.
I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, 'That's great I couldn't be happier for you!'
Then she said, 'There's more'
I asked, 'What do you mean there's more?'
She said, 'Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!'
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said....
'Well, that was the easy part. I went to Sam's Club and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!'

[cerina]

[mid_nite_poet]

OMG!!!!

[mugley]

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room.

She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

[cerina]

[mid_nite_poet]

OOPS! wrong doctor

[mugley]

She was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn’t like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart. In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state.

It wasn’t an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.

A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past - she would set these men straight!

Marching over at a rapid pace she announced, “It isn’t true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is.”

Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked, “Ok, how about Arizona?”

The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,“A”!

[cerina]

[~PC~]

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose, the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

[mugley]

[cerina]

[mid_nite_poet]

[VAMP]

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home .


PS: I HOPE THAT BLOND GIRLS WONT BE OFFENDED CUZ THESE ARE JUST JOKES.

[mottie]

I doubt it!

Your jokes are funny!

[mugley]

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home .


PS: I HOPE THAT BLOND GIRLS WONT BE OFFENDED CUZ THESE ARE JUST JOKES.

naw, as long as no one explains it to them, you'll be safe

[mid_nite_poet]

PS: I HOPE THAT BLOND GIRLS WONT BE OFFENDED CUZ THESE ARE JUST JOKES.

naw, as long as no one explains it to them, you'll be safe

And just as long as I can beat you mugley, no problem..

[cerina]

[mugley]

PS: I HOPE THAT BLOND GIRLS WONT BE OFFENDED CUZ THESE ARE JUST JOKES.

naw, as long as no one explains it to them, you'll be safe

And just as long as I can beat you mugley, no problem..

ooooohhh kinky!! tell me more!!!!

[mid_nite_poet]

PS: I HOPE THAT BLOND GIRLS WONT BE OFFENDED CUZ THESE ARE JUST JOKES.

naw, as long as no one explains it to them, you'll be safe

And just as long as I can beat you mugley, no problem..

ooooohhh kinky!! tell me more!!!!

NO!!!

[cerina]

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

[mugley]

[mugley]

What happened to the blonde who tried to blow up a bus?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe