Blonde Jokes

[mid_nite_poet]

[cerina]

[johno]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked
her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants
and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!"

[mid_nite_poet]

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree!
---------------------------------------------

How does a blonde guy take a shower?

He pees against the wind.
--------------------------------------------

A brunette and a Blonde jumped off a cliff, why did the blonde take longer to hit the ground?

The blonde stopped to ask for directions
--------------------------------------------
How does a blonde change a lightbulb?

She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
--------------------------------------------
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

[cerina]

That last one's a real cracker.

[mugley]

[Kelsey]

Ha ha ha!

Considering I'm not blonde, I have MANY blonde moments.

[Maria]

Ha, good one, lol.

[mid_nite_poet]

Maria!!!Long time no see...

[cerina]

Maria?!?! Is that really you?

[tsr]

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.


The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,

pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.


The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a

man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.

She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.


"I feel terrible,"he explains,"I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, " Don 't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.

She walks over to the limp,dead rabbit,bends down,and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up,waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops,turns around and waves again,

he hops down the road another 10 feet,turns and waves,

hops another ten feet,turns and waves,

and repeats this again and again and again,until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands,

"What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says..








(This is bad!)



(You know you could just click off and not read the punch line....)


(You can still delete it)



(Last chance)


(OK, here it is)


It says,


"Hair Spray -


Restores life to dead hair,

and adds permanent wave."


Happy Easter!!!

[mugley]

[mid_nite_poet]

[mugley]

new blonde employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password.

“Whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says.

“Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.”

“Yeah,” she says, “but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”

[mid_nite_poet]

Easter according to 3 blondes

Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter.
He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.”
St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to hell.
The second blonde said, “Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts.”
St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, “So, tell me.”
She said, “Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover.
Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him.
The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder …
St. Peter said, “Verrrrrry good.”
Then the blonde continued, “Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out.
If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball.”
St. Peter fainted.

[mugley]

[casper001]

A blonde calls fire department and says her house is on fire. Fireman asks how do we get there? Blonde replies helooo…in the big red truck!!!

[mugley]

A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette’s word was quizzical. The redhead’s word was photosynthesis. The blonde’s word was dick.

[mid_nite_poet]

Poor blonds don't really stand a chance, do they?

[cerina]

[Flagger]

poor blondes. They're gonna get a complex. we should stop looooooooooooooooool no let's carry on it's too much fun

[mid_nite_poet]

BOEING! BOEING!

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.
She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.
As soon as she boarded the plane,
a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat
and starts shouting,
"BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
Annoyed by the goings on,
the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere
and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot.
She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment,
concentrated really hard,
and all of a sudden started shouting,
"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

[mugley]

[cerina]