Blonde Joke

[cerina]

[mugley]

There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

[mid_nite_poet]

[cerina]

[mugley]

It's funny, "says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his dick."

"You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard..."

They turn to the third blonde and ask, "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?"

"Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!"

"You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy. You should try it."

She says she'll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner.

"Whoa!" the first blonde asks. "How did you get that black eye?"

"Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she says.

"What on earth for?" the second blonde asks.

"I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete's and Richard's are so cold."

[mid_nite_poet]

[johno]

angela , thats just sooo hard to read
in yellow....
by Angela » 07 Oct 04, 8:07 am

A Blonde, the Beach, and...Beer?

Why doesn't the blonde want to drink beer on the beach?

Because she doesn't want to get sand in her Busch.

[Jack Flash]

angela , thats just sooo hard to read
in yellow....
by Angela » 07 Oct 04, 8:07 am

A Blonde, the Beach, and...Beer?

Why doesn't the blonde want to drink beer on the beach?

Because she doesn't want to get sand in her Busch.

I hear you

I think she uses the proFun skin where it would show up nicely

[mugley]

A knockout blonde with a fine set of tits complains to the doctor, “I believe I am losing my mind. I can’t remember ANYTHING after five minutes!” The doctor answers, in his most comforting tone, “Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down…”

[mid_nite_poet]

[cerina]

[mugley]

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He said, “I’m going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.” She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, “It looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones.” She turned red, and replied, “You mean it shows that, too?”

[cerina]

[tsr]

Two blondes living in Illinois were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
T-SHIRT
A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt.

'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?'

'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious t-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream..

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"


IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO. .....," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

[mid_nite_poet]

[mugley]

[cerina]

[Dennisq]

[Dennisq]

CLICK ME

[mugley]

[cerina]

[johno]

Q: Why do blonde,s whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.

[cerina]

[mugley]

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says, “Open wide”. “I can’t,” replies the blonde, “this chair’s got arms.”