Dogs vs Man

by **Dixie** » 25 Apr 05, 2:24 pm

How Dogs and Men are the same:

Both take up too much space on the bed
Both have irrational fears re vacuum cleaning
Both are threatened by their own kind
Both mark their own territory
Both are bad at asking questions
Neither tells you what is bothering them
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches
Neither does any dishes
Both fart shamelessly
Neither of them notice when you have a new haircut
Both like dominance games
Both are suspicious of the Postman
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone
Neither understands what you see in cats

How Dogs are BETTER than men

Dogs don't have a problem expressing affection in public
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong
Dogs admit when they are jealous
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out
Dogs don't play games with you except fetch (and they never laugh at the way you throw)
Dog don't feel threatened by your intelligence
You can train a dog
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK the worst disease is rabies but there is a vaccine for it and you get to kill the one that gave it to you.)
Dogs understand what "no" means
Dogs understand when some of their friends can't come inside
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner
Dogs admit it when they are lost
Dogs are colour blind
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

by **tiger~lilly** » 25 Apr 05, 10:52 pm

yeah, I can see all of them being true!

by **telboy** » 26 Apr 05, 5:26 am

Meanie !!!

by **Don't Blink** » 26 Apr 05, 9:13 pm

Wow men are under siege today

by **Sting** » 26 Apr 05, 9:16 pm

What did we do? :scratch:

by **Don't Blink** » 26 Apr 05, 9:24 pm

Dam if I know but I've got enough beer to hold up for a couple of days until it blows over

by **Drew** » 26 Apr 05, 9:35 pm

I think they are demanding a sacrifice

How about Cool Dave or telboy

I saw Guinness around too

by **telboy** » 27 Apr 05, 5:12 am

Yea ... thats right ... pick on the handsome guy or a foreigner (or someone without a last name)

Reckon Dixie got stood up or her twin is posting for her ... coz she is sizzling mad about men .... glad I got the Pacific between her and me at the moment ...

by **argylesox** » 27 Apr 05, 9:32 am

you forgot the last one under why dogs are better...

they can lick themselves so you don't have to.

by **Dixie** » 27 Apr 05, 4:17 pm

argylesox wrote:you forgot the last one under why dogs are better...

they can lick themselves so you don't have to.

I don't understand????

Why would you have to ... or for that matter even want to

by **argylesox** » 27 Apr 05, 5:09 pm

must be a dark shade of blonde day....

if guys could lick themselves (like dogs) blowjobs would be unecessary

by **Dixie** » 27 Apr 05, 7:29 pm

Oh you mean to yourself ... the way you worded it left some question as to who was being licked

by **telboy** » 28 Apr 05, 3:26 am

... and I get all this for FREE :lol:

by **THE_SiXth** » 28 Apr 05, 3:38 am

Thats funny

eh im a lil slow on posting this week

weird ole one fer sure

hey telboy

by **telboy** » 28 Apr 05, 5:42 am

Hey TS ... missed your energetic figure jiving away in the corner. Managaed to hold the fort (or Pa) from the Confederates, Yankees, Canadians, Brits and now the Chinese ...

... your turn at the Gattling gun

by **THE_SiXth** » 28 Apr 05, 6:58 pm

well immmm backkkkkkkkkk
*arms herself and walks into battle?*

by **telboy** » 29 Apr 05, 5:04 am

*walks off knackered, bruised and looking for a new ego*

Dogs vs Man

Dogs vs Man

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