It's strange enough that they sell milk on Amazon but, read the reviews
Can fight zombies., June 12, 2007
By A. Alice "Alice M." (Government Zombie Protection Facility, Chicago, IL)
I was holed up in Bastion, with only two bullets left and a hoard of zombies ready to attack.
I used the last of my bullets in a vain attempt to get as many as I could before I fell. It was then that the head zombie, a putrescent giant thing of immense incalculable doom, was shuffling towards me in what I could only assume would be my inevitable demise.
"This is it," I thought, "I am going to die". It was then I backed into something I did not expect. It was a 1 Gallon jug of Tuscan Whole milk.
Who knew that Tuscan Whole Milk could decapitate the king zombie with just one mighty thrust, thus saving the entire world? I didn't. It was there to save the day... and my life.
I owe my own existence...Nay, humanity's existence on this 128 fl oz jug of Tuscan Whole Milk.
by 
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