Loch Ness Monster Spotted at Local Swimming Pool

by **mid_nite_poet** » 19 May 06, 4:19 am

Loch Ness Monster Spotted at Local Swimming Pool - too mean to pay entry fee.

Loch Ness, in the Rift Valley of the Scottish Highlands, is considered to be one of the deepest lakes in the world. But, perhaps it just isn’t refreshing enough for “The Loch Ness Monster.” Early-rising tourists and residents of the area alike have witnessed him leaving his humble home beneath the depths each and every morning and going for a dip in the community’s pool.
Area marine biologists, once inspired by Nessie’s mythical status and who now have taken up playing marbles in their past time, have taken slightly renewed interest in the monster’s newest habit. This recent change in Nessie’s behavior; leaving his own fresh water for the community pool worries one of the many scientists. “Perhaps conditions in Loch Ness aren’t once as they were,” said the retired biologist, who carried his favorite marble in an old wedding ring case. “It could be a result of global warming, or even some new pollutant finding its way into the lake.”
After Nessie swims for about an hour, one witness revealed, “He drips dry in an extended lounge chair, and then heads right back to the Loch. It’s a pretty long journey up that grassy knoll,” he continued with a proud air pointing north, not knowing that he’s revered by his neighbors as a ‘master of the obvious,’ “you know, since he has flippers and no legs like you or me.”
The League Of Clean Habitats (L.O.C.H.), along with the Loch Ness Phenomena Investigation Bureau is taking matters into their own hands. “Since these worthless scientist just want to play marbles, and can only just guess what’s going on,” said the President of the women’s organization, “we’ve decided to take turns watching old Nessie come and go each morning. We’re trying to find our own answers.”
The League is also concerned that the community’s children are in danger. “What if he wants to come swimmin’ in the middle of summer?” asked another member who started becoming heated. “What if he ends up swallowin’ up one of the little kiddies?” Other members felt the same for the children’s safety, but also believed that maybe Nessie needed the extra protein.
The caretaker of the community pool, Mr. Mac Stuart, says that Nessie has been coming to the pool for years. “Och,” he continued in his own way, as if he and Nessie shared a lot of time together, “he dis nae harm so I dinny even bother charging him — sides he's naedin the work oot.”
For now, both the organizations and other residents will keep their concern and their eyes open. The scientists, in between competitive marble competitions, will offer their own opinions. Nessie, as long as the gate to the community pool is kept open, shows no indication of quitting his early morning ritual