3 paddys out for dinner

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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby Jack Flash » 18 Mar 15, 3:26 pm

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 18 Mar 15, 7:57 pm

The doctor was explaining to Paddy how nature adjusted certain physical disabilities. "For example, if a man is blind, he develops a keen sense of hearing and touch. If he's stone deaf, he develops other senses."

"I know what you mean," said Paddy. "I've noticed that if a bloke has one short leg, then the other one is always a bit longer."
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 18 Mar 15, 8:01 pm

An Irishman called a Dublin number at three o'clock in the morning. "Is This O'Malley's Bar?" he asked.

"No. it's not. This is a private residence."

"I must have the wrong number. Sorry to trouble you at this time of night."

"Ah, it's no trouble. I had to get up anyway to answer the phone."
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby cerina » 22 Mar 15, 4:29 pm

Paddy and Mick were walking down the road when a car mounted the kerb and knocked Paddy down. Mick ran to a phone box and called for an ambulance. The operator took the details and told Mick to go back and support Paddy's head.
Mick ran all the way back to his friend and stood beside him going " :clap: :clap: Paddy's head :clap: :clap: Paddy's head".
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 22 Mar 15, 5:05 pm

:wtf: and you have the audacity to complain about my jokes????????????????????????????????????? :screwy: :screwy:
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby cerina » 23 Mar 15, 3:34 pm

Of course. And will continue to do so! :mrgreen:

I bet you laughed at it! :mrgreen:
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 23 Sep 15, 8:49 pm

:lmao:
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby Don't Blink » 23 Sep 15, 9:01 pm

:lmao:
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 24 Nov 15, 9:02 pm

:lmao:
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 23 Feb 17, 5:51 am

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'
And towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter,
"but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"
"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
a) Sparrow
b) Thrush,
c) Magpie,
d) Cuckoo?"
"I haven't got a clue." said Mick,
''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ..."
Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and
Repeated the question to him.
"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy.
"Dat's simple it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm fookin sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris,
"I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is."
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed,
"Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"
“Because he lives in a Fookin clock!"
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 09 Apr 17, 1:43 pm

The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What happened Paddy?” she asks anxiously.

“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home … and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable! The end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”

“Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!” says his mother-in-law. “There is something very odd going on here; Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. “Paddy, there, I told you it must be a simple explanation. She never got your email!”
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 19 May 17, 6:01 pm

what's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?


There's one less drunk
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby mugley » 27 Aug 17, 9:49 am

An Irish daughter had not been home for over a year. Upon her return, her Father cussed her. ‘Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?’
The girl, crying, replied, ‘Sniff, sniff…..Dad….I became a prostitute’
‘Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family.’
‘OK, Dad – as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the country club……(takes a breath)…….. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.
Now, what was it ye said ye had become?’ says Dad.
Girl, crying again, ‘Sniff, sniff….a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.’
‘Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.’
‘Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.’
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Re: 3 paddys out for dinner

Postby Jack Flash » 28 Aug 17, 8:33 am

:lmao: :lmao:
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