The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic...

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The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic...

Postby Jack Flash » 08 Apr 17, 10:05 am

The Greek restaurant in my town is so authentic... it’s gone bankrupt.

I just found out I’m colorblind.
It came completely out of the green

Is my wife ashamed of my body?
A tiny part of me says yes.

My friend called me and asked me what I was doing.
I said, “Probably failing my driving test.”

I always make sure I get stoned before I go to an auction.
I like to be the highest bidder.

I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend.
Apparently, she was seeing someone else on the side.

My wife left me because I spent our life savings on a penis enlargement.
She couldn’t take it any longer.

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.
A student puts his hand up and says, “G, miss”.
The teacher asks, “Why is that, Angus?”

I told my Dad he should embrace his mistakes.
He gave me a hug.

I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants.
But he’s not buying it. In fact, he’s still making fun of me.

Poop jokes may not be my favorite type of joke.
But they’re a solid number two.

I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
I saw her on Tinder.

I have bathed in the blood of virgins…
Well, I had a nosebleed in the shower.

I hate people who take drugs.
Specifically, the DEA and US Customs.

If you ever feel like your job is pointless, just remember…
There is someone who is currently installing turn signal lights at BMW.
Life is just a "Bit of Fun" . . . Google it
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Jack Flash
 
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