they walk amongst us....?

Stupid crooks, Stupid laws, Stupid people

Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 31 Jan 16, 6:01 am

:banghead: :banghead: :lmao: :lmao:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Jack Flash » 31 Jan 16, 9:14 am

:lmao:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 15 Feb 16, 11:07 pm

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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Jack Flash » 16 Feb 16, 10:28 am

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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby cerina » 18 Feb 16, 3:25 pm

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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 07 Apr 16, 12:50 am

Have you ever had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes or having your mouth hang agape at the stupidity of a peer? Here are some of the dumbest things people have heard others say...

1/30

My brother used to be a park ranger. One time a lady asked him how long it took for a deer to become a moose. He said about 7 years.

CaptainFlacid


2/30

Had this girl in one of my high school classes enlighten everyone to the fact that, "blind people can drive, if the seeing eye dog is in the car.”

whodeyraider


3/30

In 12th grade. Going on a class trip to Disney. Teacher chaperons are all bustling around us at the gate to our plane making sure everyone is ready to board.

Idiot Girl: "I lost my boarding pass! I must have left it at the bookstore I was browsing in"

Teacher: "Run back to the bookstore and see if they have it"

Girl leaves for like 5 minutes and returns

Teacher: "did you find it?"

Girl: "No"

Teacher: "Did you go back to the bookstore you were in before?"

Girl: "No, that one was really far away, so I went to the closer one."

Class: silently stare with mouths open.

_Psychopathy_


4/30

My sister in her sophomore year of college thought she could "Graduate in undeclared”.

Ambushh


5/30

"How can African children dream during the night if they don't have tv?”

laynath


6/30

My friend got a flat tire and the girl I was with said, "at least only the bottom is flat." I tried to explain the whole tire was flat but she is dim.

jennawhoreusrex


7/30

The female lion is called a tiger.

eXodus91


8/30

"Do you have cars up in Canada?" I was at a restaurant right on the US border…

Stuxain


9/30

I was standing down on the docks in Florida watching the sunset when some man comes up to a cruise Captain and asked, "How many sunset cruises do you do a day?"

The Captain just stared at him.



10/30

9th grade history class, watching a documentary on World War II.

Student: "Was everything really black and white back then?"

Teacher: "Yes, color film wasn't invented until the 1960s."

Student: "Oh... so the people weren't black and white, it was just the film?”

Chillaxbro


11/30

In High School: "My uncle was once thrown out of his jeep window when it rolled over and he was fine. It's safer not to wear a seatbelt because you can be launched away from the accident."

natmccoy


12/30

My coworker when talking about how versatile and amazing potatoes are. "I love potatoes so much. Like, I don't understand how the Irish got sick of them during the famine." Then she argued with me when I tried to correct her. She's 27.

jewrome215


13/30

I overheard two women talking about a party that one of them was planning. They hit the topic about getting ice for the party.

One of them suggested that the other look into renting an instant ice machine. The other asked what is an instant ice machine. So she explains that it is the same thing that they have at serve yourself soda fountains and that it will instantly make as much ice as you want. All you have to do is push the lever and you will never run out of ice.

The first woman tried to explain that the ice just falls out of a hopper, but the second woman would not believe her and kept insisting that it was instant and would make an infinite amount of ice.

geekworking


14/30

"Look, Easter's on a Sunday this year!" announced unironically by a 22-year-old who was raised Catholic.

Azryhael


15/30

While trying to help someone with their geography, I pointed at a map and asked her to identify the place I was pointing at. She said "Texas"... I was pointing at India. She later said that Africa was South America.

She was 26 at the time.

CellarDoor_86


16/30

"Wouldn't it be cool if there was a BlockBuster for books”.

guidedlight


17/30

That people are against solar power because they're afraid we'll suck up all the sunlight and burn out the sun. I wish I was joking.

wolfeyes93


18/30

You can remove a full face mask of a bank robber and reveal his face off of CCTV footage using a computer.

questfailer


19/30

"I can't believe anybody thinks evolution is real. How stupid is it to believe that you can take a rock and it will slowly evolve into a cat over hundreds of years."

Unfortunately I worked with this person, and he was quite adamant that evolution meant everything evolved from rocks and boulders.

idropepics


20/30

Sociology class talking about current events, specifically Iran and North Korea's developing nuclear programs. One girl asked the prof very gravely:

"Do you think that we have nuclear weapons?"

This was in the USA btw. Prof was completely speechless.

Kraelman


21/30

My roommate said "Chipotle doesn't have queso, because Qdoba patented it."

He honestly believes Qdoba has a patent on melted cheese.

iliketolietoyou


22/30

Spinach isn't really a plant is it? - an IB student in my honors chemistry class last year.

Sleepmeansdeathforme


23/30

I went to Barne's and Noble looking for a copy of Commentaries on the Gallic War by Julius Caesar ideally in both English and Latin (I'm a Roman history geek and wanted to improve my Latin, which sucks).

I went to the counter and asked the girl working there about it, she didn't even type in the computer, just looked at me and said "You know he isn't a real person right".

"Who isn't real?" I asked.

"Julius Caesar, he was just a character in a Shakespeare play".

I was absolutely stunned, my usually smart ass mouth completely failed me as did my ability to issue an adult like rebuttal. When I replied I sounded like a pouting toddler.

"...He was TOO real”.

atsinged


24/30

"What if a women has twins in her womb of different genders, and they have sex, and the baby girl gets pregnant? What if this creates a russian doll type scenario?"

Answer: Because puberty.

Another gem by the same guy: "Why can't we just cut off chunks of meat from animals, let the meat grow back, then cut the chunks off again." According to him this would be "infinite food."

Answer: This kills the animal.

NebulaNinja


25/30

"The tax in Canada is 13%!!!!! Go wait in the car, I'll talk to them about this!"

Followed by

"Well in Pennsylvania it's 6% so I don't have to pay your absurd taxes here. I AM AN AMERICAN!"

I was in Niagara Falls (Canadian side) and the American family across from me thought that they didn't have to pay the full sales tax in Canada because they weren't used to it.

Taipers_4_days


26/30

When I was a kid, people used to say I looked like Harry Potter, and my dumbass friend would make fun of me for it.

Me: At least I don't have an English accent.

Friend: Neither does Harry Potter.

Me: Yes he does.

Friend: No, he's from London.

somepeoplewait


27/30

Living with my roommate.... had no ability to cook anything and he came up with this one: "How do you make ice cubes”

AwkwardTraveler


28/30

A former co-worker complained to me that a job listing said they would pay $1/hour more for bilingual candidates. "I don't think that's fair," she said. "It's not my fault I wasn't born in another country.”

MigraineLeFay


29/30

"Just take out a loan. It's free money!”

rlulu


30

I work in technical support for the security company. The following are a pool of my favorites:

"Approximately how long is sixty seconds?"

"Can't you just email me a new battery?"

"My smoke detector just started screaming, and now my house is filling with smoke, what is wrong with this thing?"

"Can you just tell me the code before the cops get here please?"

and my all time favorite (and no I am not making this up):

"Last night I was abducted and taken up to the mothership again. I checked my cameras, and they show me in bed all night, what the hell is up with these cameras?”

rottinguy
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby cerina » 08 Apr 16, 4:22 pm

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: and God help us!
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Jack Flash » 09 Apr 16, 10:14 am

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Used to think all those things were made up. The more I deal with people the more I realize that things are probably true.
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 11 Apr 16, 11:50 am

:lmao: :lmao:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 11 Apr 16, 2:58 pm

Yes, everyone has a mental lapse here and there - a moment when we're not really thinking and end up saying something that doesn't really make sense or is just plain stupid.

What makes these instances so special, however, is that a lot of these people stood by what they actually said.

This article is based on an AskReddit entitled, "What Is The Stupidest Thing You've Heard Someone Say With Confidence?" To see the full thread, check out the link at the end of the article.



1. "You can't be from Vietnam, Vietnam is a war."

- potua

2. If we were 100ft closer to the sun we'd all burn up.”

- Hbnickc93

3. “Someone in the middle of a group said that the only reason that it's illegal to have sex with goats is that it can produce mutant offspring. The two other people nodded in agreement. I didn't correct him, I just walked away.”

- TheManOfTimeAndSpace

4. "The earth spins slow as f*ck. Like 5 miles per hour. That's why we can't feel it."

- rangergreen

5. "Beer is a liquid so there's no calories."

- KayleighAnn

6. "If light is the fastest thing in the universe, then how come it takes so long for the sun to rise?"

- VioletWinters

7. "Nigeria is a disease, not a country. I saw a documentary."

- cadburyminiegg

8. “After suggesting to a longtime BMW owner who was in the market for a new car to look at Audi/Mercedes, they replied that they have no interest in German cars. He believed that the B in BMW stood for British.”

- Benf207


9. "I can't study liberal arts because I'm not a liberal."

- arbitrarni

10. “A gynecologist friend of mine once told me how she helped with the delivery of twins. The father became furious when he found out, and after seeing the babies for the first time, he proclaimed ‘This one looks like me. Tell me, whose baby is that one?!’”

- fumblebuck

11. Me: "One day I think it would be fun to visit China."

Friend's GF: "Ya, but which part of the continent would you go to?”

- Batmanstarwars1

12. “I couldn't make any banana nut bread because the store was out of banana nuts.”

- Tbjkbe

13. “My otherwise brilliant roommate in college told me I couldn't get a plant for our dorm room because ‘plants turn oxygen into CO2, and it could kill us.’”

- ThePeoplesBard

14. "The moon is a star, obviously."

- Mr_Incrediboy

15. "Police Officer: 'Can you take your glasses off please? I don't feel safe with your glasses on and I would like to see your eyes.'"

- Lukabob

16. “The elements only make up some parts of our world. Some things are made of entirely different, unique substances, such as wood and glass.”

- deleted

17. "Isn't it crazy how God made buildings bigger than people?"

- kipthunderslate

18. Little boy: "Mommy, what is the moon made out of?"

Mother: "The moon is made out of...of gas."

Little boy: "Oh."

- IDoNotLikeOatmeal

19. “I worked with a woman that told me to always wash a banana before you eat it because monkeys always pee on them.”

- Indy1204

20. “My brother’s wife while looking at a plane in the night sky: ‘How does the plane keep from crashing into the stars?’”

- buttholedonkeypunch
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby cerina » 11 Apr 16, 4:07 pm

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: I'm fast losing hope for the human race.
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 16 Apr 16, 3:37 pm

1. Back in my Best Buy days, a woman came in complaining that her iPod had a virus. I turn it on and it's working fine. She says it only appears when she connects it to her PC, so I hook it up to our machine.

It connects, and the "Do not disconnect" message appears, complete with red "no" symbol.

"There! That's the virus! What does that mean?"

2. It was amusing listening to a waiter at an IHOP try to explain to a customer why they couldn't order "Never ending pancakes" to go.

3. Worked at Best Buy about 4 years ago for a summer. A lady came in insisting that her son wanted a Playstation 3. Then she saw the Wii stearing wheel and said "That will work with the Playstation right?" I told her that the Wii is a different console made by a different company -so no it wouldn't work. She snidely says "Oh. So I have to buy a whole different console from you guys JUST for it to work? Typical." then she adds "But you gotta make commission somehow right?" and walks away.

4. Working at a book store.

CUSTOMER : Do you sell the Bible here?

ME : Yes we do. Which version would you like?

CUSTOMER : The Bible.

ME : Yes, I understand, which version?

CUSTOMER : The one Jesus wrote.

5. I used to work at RadioShack and I had a lady come in and ask for a radio capable of getting broadcasts from the middle east. I showed her a few, she purchased it and asked me to help her tune it. I found some stations from various middle eastern sources, tuned them as she stood there with this puzzled look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she looked at me with this seriously grim expression and said,

"How am I supposed to track terrorists if they don't speak American."

6. "Thank you for calling Starbucks, this is Jeff. How can I help you?"

"Yes, where are you located?"

"We're at the corner of Main and Magnolia."

"And where is that."

"Do you know where Main Street is?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where Magnolia Avenue is?"

"Yes."

"That's where we are."

"Well I'm standing at that intersection and I can't find your store. Is it underground or something?" [looks out the window and sees a woman who looks lost]

"Ma'am, turn to your left. Do you see a man in a green apron waving at you?" [begins waving at her]

"Yes."

"That man is inside a Starbucks. Go there."

"That's not Starbucks. That's Quizno's."

"Ma'am, I'm very confident I'm in a Starbucks right now."

"You're not very helpful."

7. Lady called in to tell me that her computer had been taken over by the Matrix. I asked her to move her mouse. "Omg! It's back to my normal desktop screen! What happened?"

"Ma'am, someone installed a Matrix screensaver on your computer. Anything else I can help you with today?"

8. When working at Wal-Mart electronics around 8 years ago, I dealt with a sudden torrent of people returning wireless products. They were furious that these devices needed to be plugged in to charge. I had customers insisting that the other employees said their phone/keyboard/controller/etc. would "absorb electricity" from sockets as they walked around the house.

We had to put up "wireless devices do not charge wirelessly" signs around the entire department.

9. "If I install 32bit Windows twice, will it become 64bit." That conversation lasted 2 hour

10. If these t-shirts are buy one get one free why can't I just have the free one?

11. I once had a customer bring back a laptop she bought the day before claiming it was broken. She said it wouldn't open, I asked her if it was windows not loading up or a program not opening, she said the laptop itself wouldn't physically open.

I took it out of the box, opened it up and just looked at her. Her mouth fell open, she looked at me and said "Oh, it opens that side! Me and my sister tried for an hour to open it up last night and couldn't."

She had been trying to open it from the hinge side.

12. While working at Disney I got asked what time the Three 0' Clock parade started.... I had to answer with that famous Disney smile.

13. I worked fast food and a customer wanted a cheeseburger, medium fry, and medium drink. I said ok I will ring you up a #1 combo meal.

This angered the lady who told me that she didn't want the combo meal just a medium drink, a medium fry, and a cheeseburger. I told her that it would be the same order but this would save her money, but she got even more furious so I politely punched them in separately.

14. A client once asked how much it cost the Plasma truck to come out and refill his Plasma TV.

15. Someone told me that they felt bad when they returned a DVD and forgot to rewind it.

16. Not a customer, but a client, taped an Ethernet cable to the window thinking that it would give them better Wi-Fi reception.

17. My friend works customer service at Canadian Tire. The other day someone tried to return a flashlight, claiming it wouldn't light up. My friend looked down at the flashlight. It was a hose nozzle.

18. When working windows 98 tech support, I was asked by an older man "what time does the Internet close." I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't come up with a witty response.

19. I was at a snack bar for my pool one summer, and a woman asked me what end of a hotdog are you supposed to look through.

20. I worked geek squad once and a customer told me his iPod gave his jeep a virus and that's why he was having engine trouble now.

21. I work at a sandwich shop.

Someone asked me, "I'm not that hungry. Which is bigger - the half sandwich or the whole sandwich?"
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Angie G » 16 Apr 16, 4:20 pm

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby cerina » 17 Apr 16, 4:54 pm

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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Lonestar » 18 Apr 16, 2:01 am

Which, is why I left retail those many moons ago. If I hadn't, I'd be serving consecutive life sentences in prison by now. :angry:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 04 May 16, 11:30 pm

Sometimes the most remarkable characters are able to hide in plain sight, other times not so much. When a dumb person steps forward and reveals themselves all we can do is shake our heads and roll our eyes...



1/30. He asked "Didn't tornadoes go extinct?”

Tmanning47
2/30. They said "pacifically speaking" and "supposably" in the same sentence.

ask_me_if_Im_lying
3/30. Driving with wife and her friend and we ride over the rumble strips before a stop sign on the highway. Wife's friend, 100% serious: "Did you know those are for blind drivers so they know when to stop?”

C0untryBlumpkin
4/30. He had told me he broke his camcorder after putting it in the microwave and then turning it on. I asked him why he did that.

His response was "I didn't know."

WHAT.

WHAT IS THERE TO NOT KNOW.

Pinoynac
5/30. My sister in-law was at a doctor's appointment when the doctor asked her if her stool was black. Later when she came home, she sat down on one of their black kitchen stools and proceeded to ask my wife how the doctor knew what color they were.

snufalufalgus


6/30. jokingly told an insecure flatmate that drinking milk would make her breasts grow larger. Walk into our kitchen one morning and find her downing a litre of milk whilst leaning over to one side. When I asked her what she was doing she told me that her left boob was smaller than her right so she wanted it to catch up. thumb?

maximov86
7/30. Me to American dude I was traveling with: "we don't get snow at Xmas in Australia dude, cos it's summer time" He says: "oh yeah right... You know the heat wouldn't bother me I just couldn't get my head around having Xmas in July, it's always been December 25 to me" ....no... it's .... no.

hsofAus
8/30. Having a conversation with friends about ducks and it eventually tails off. In the resulting silence, one friend just pipes up, "... Is duck meat or fish?”

wyrdfell
9/30. I spent ten minutes explaining to a student that half of five minutes was two minutes and thirty seconds and NOT two minutes and fifty seconds. All I got in response was "Well, I'll believe you this time because you're a math major.”

lockedinaroom
10/30. My girlfriend at the time, C, lived with her friend, K (not the brightest bulb). I would always be there hanging out and somehow I got into Days of Our Lives.

Sammy and Lucas are the star crossed lovers in the show. They're not always together throughout the show but they find their way back to each other. In this story of mine, DOOL has set them back together and they're still working things out. BUT, wait! There's a handsome, young Englishman named EJ who just moved into town. Sammy ends up having a one nighter with him. Oh dear!

Fast forward two weeks. Sammy is pregnant! Oh sh*t, whose kid is it? This is when K pipes in.

"This is so stupid."

Me, knowing this will be good "Oh, why?"

K: "There's no tension."

Me: "Why is that, K?"

K: "Well, they're going to know whose baby it is if it comes out with a British accent or not."

11/30. Once my roommate finished ironing his clothes, he wanted to put the ironing board away so he put the hot iron on the carpet and put the board away. I came home to find a large speaker from our old entertainment system sitting in the middle of the living room. When I went to move it back, I found the giant patch of melted carpet, shaped like the iron. He thought he could hide it with the speaker.

askthelogicowl
12/30. Back when that Malaysian flight was missing she was confused as to why people couldn't find it. She thought the sea was just a deep as regular lake or river and the plane would just stick out of the water.

BenIrwinG
13/30. 8th grade social studies on the topic of major world religions

"Raise your hand if you identify as Christian" girl with WWJD bracelet doesn't raise her hand. When asked,

"I'm not Christian, I'm Catholic. "

"Do you believe in Jesus?"

“No, I believe in Christ”

Evio
14/30. In my school days i was using a calculator on a test and typed in the math problem in wrong then I proceeded to type syntax error as an answer.

polepastie
15/30. She thought the white box around Alaska on the bottom corner of a map was a road between Alaska and Hawaii.

Anonymous


16/30. Driving past Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd

"I didn't know Martin Luther King Jr's last name was Boulevard!"

Everyone in car facepalms

KDay116
17/30. One time, my friend had bought a new 42" LCD TV. His brother comes in the room and starts making small talk. He said "I just bought a new TV, too. It's bigga den dat though." I reply, "Oh, you bought one, too? How big is it?" He looks at the TV, measuring it up and says, "Ah, I dunno, its like.....5....dicks bigger."

Needless to say, I totally lost my mind with laughter and he winds up leaving the room because I can't stop.

gderkatch
18/30. They used pepper spray to kill a spider in their shower, while they were in the shower.

AllGoldGold
19/30. She came back from a family holiday, questioning why she couldn't see the names of the countries when flying above them.

EthanL1612
20/30. Set of twins I know thought Nazis and the holocaust were just in films, and appeared in lots of different films because of how scary they were, "just like Jason X or something.”

Anonymous

21/30. A friend of mine lost a finger while using a circular saw. He then lost another finger, showing someone how he lost the first finger.

gymnastJack
22/30. I had recently taken a mobile plan with 600 minutes free. I told my friend about this and she wanted to switch to it too. She called the rep and later I get an angry call from her telling that they are only offering her 10 hours.

packsracks
23/30. Refused to sleep in a house when he found out there was a copy of The Exorcist in it.

effieokay
24/30. Kevin just didn't know cats and dogs were different animals.

mlv555
25/30. In my Year 10 Geography class looking at a map of Australia. She exclaims "I THINK I FOUND FINLAND”.

MeMow_


26/30. Old coworker of mine, we'll say he’s a bit thick-headed. His son is a police officer. Coworker goes out to the bar one night and gets pretty loaded, then thinks it would be a good idea to drive home. On his way home he decides maybe that wasn't such a good idea, and a light bulb goes off in his head, his son could take him home! What does he do? He drives to the police station, drunk as a skunk, willingly walks in the front door and asks to see his son. The desk officer could tell he was loaded, and arrested him on the spot. Ended up getting a DUI.

brandnewrock8
27/30. I worked with a guy who made a bet that his steel toe shoes could stop a freight elevator, and tested it with his foot in them still. Exactly what you'd think would happen happened and now his toes are gone. That's the dumbest person I know.

jelacey
28/30. I'm a groundskeeper at my university. There had been a bonfire for homecoming the night before made out of wood pallets, so my supervisor was out the next morning picking up loose nails. The director told him not to worry because they had all melted anyway..

Only_Mortal
29/30. My friends were always convinced that my girlfriend was too dumb for me, but I always defended her, saying you just had to get to know her. One day, we're attempting to do that over my best friend's place, and we're all having milk and cookies. She remarks how fresh the milk is, I say, yeah, it's local so it's practically straight from the cow. She gets quiet.

"Cows? I always thought milk came from pigs!"

"But there's a cow on the carton?"

"I thought that was the mascot!"

My friend just turned his head slowly and looked me right in the eye. I looked away.

whmullally
30. In high school, a girl I suspected of stupidity was told that gypsies were targeted during the holocaust. With a straight face she asked, "Why didn't they just use their powers and fly away?
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Don't Blink » 05 May 16, 1:45 pm

:lmao: :lmao:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby cerina » 06 May 16, 3:15 pm

:banghead: :banghead: :lmao: :lmao:
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 27 May 16, 1:23 pm

rude, crude, and lewd


"I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn. "
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Don't Blink » 28 May 16, 9:47 am

:scratch: It's amazing so many :tard: people in this world

Maybe idiocracy was indeed a prophecy

Speaking of which I learned the other day that that was made by the same duo that made Beavis & Butthead
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 26 Jul 16, 8:14 pm

:scratch:
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rude, crude, and lewd


"I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn. "
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby 420onthedot » 27 Jul 16, 9:26 pm

:lmao: :lmao:
Handle life like a dog... eat it , screw it, or just piss on it and walk away
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby mugley » 07 Aug 16, 11:27 am

:run: :run:
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rude, crude, and lewd


"I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn. "
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Re: they walk amongst us....?

Postby Don't Blink » 07 Aug 16, 3:16 pm

:cussing: Wont be able to get it out for a week after seeing that
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