The Me-Generation.

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The Me-Generation.

Postby fat_bastard » 03 May 07, 12:53 pm

Unfortunately not written by me (I havnt the capacity) but it's true on so many levels!
Unfortunately I'm guilty of rather a lot.

Conversation usually goes like this:
"Hey!"
"Hello!"
"How are ya?"
"Not bad thanks...not bad.....you?"
"Yeaaah, not bad thanks."
"Goooood."
"Yup."
"....So....uh....you doing much?"
"Nope.....you?"
"Nah...this and that."
"Aaah yeah."
"lol"
"lol"
"hehe"
"haha"
"............Yeah...I'm gonna go now."
"I'm gonna top myself."
"You too! Bye! xx"




Anyhoo, you'll be wanting your link now. :lol:

[Clicketh thee here for enlightenment.]




Can anyone else relate to this?

I know I've been living under a rock for a while, but what in the name of god has happened to the art of conversation?!
I used to be able to talk long into the night with a few close friends, and now we go through the same charade of stock questions before coming to an abrupt halt and laughing nervously at the floor.
Of course it's human nature to blame everyone but ourselves, but I accept that half of the problem is me.
At least I make a freaking effort. I only end up talking about myself in the vague hope that someone will pick up on something that they can relate to and join in.
I'll be buggered if that's ever happened.
Trying to get them to talk about themselves is like trying to draw blood from a stone.
I hate talking about myself, I do it enough with professionals, at least they're getting paid for having me throw my emotional baggage at them.
I'd much rather hear somebody else's. Find out about them, what makes them tick. That's what conversation is all about.
In my desperation to make conversation I ask vague questions and pray that they're passionate about something.

"You doing anything interesting over the weekend?"
"Nope."
"How was the party last week?"
"Great!"
"Gooood.....you going to expand on that?"
"Probably...."
"Any time soon?"
"lol"
"lol (You wanker. Screw you then. I'll talk to a wall instead.)"
"lol"


Same with real life conversation, just minus the 'lol' and plus the nervous laughter, awkward silences and mutually wondering if you'll both be stuck to the spot, laughing nervously and trying to make conversation.


What's wrong with me?!   :evil:
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Postby Dixie » 03 May 07, 1:02 pm

:lol:


I have a friend who demands that her son show up for supper and stay for an hour or the Xbox gets confiscated for a week.      She just added be in a good mood and engage in conversation to her requirement.
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Postby fat_bastard » 03 May 07, 1:10 pm

:lol:
A friend of the family has a son who spends most of his life on an x-box.
But it's ok apparently because he has lots of friends on the network who he talks to. :rolleyes:
Presumably they passionately discuss classic novels and current affairs.


I suspect if she listened a while before putting the tray of food outside his door and running back to her soaps, she'd hear something along the lines of
"Hah! Take that you twat!"
"I'll blow your fucking head off."
"Oh yeah? I'll kick your ass!"
and
"You're a dick!"
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Postby desert eagle » 03 May 07, 2:32 pm

i strongly agree with what you and the website have to say about modern conversation, and in fact conversation seems to be a synecdoche of what is happening to the overall attitude of society today. i definitely have beef with this new type of attitude in which people believe that life is only about how they percieve themselves; but isn't it also true that the easiest person that a person can fool in life is his own self? like the blog mentioned, "self-esteem police" have really messed up some analytical processes.

the only thing i was a bit skeptical about however, was the solution they provided about curing loneliness:

"If you want people to care about you, you should care about them."

this is the kind of advice that creates disappointment in people, especially when something is said to be offered in return for doing something; it's more or less  setting a person up to expect that if they care about other people, then others will care about them. if this were genuinely true, then there wouldn't be people who would feel resent when it came to asking a favor from someone whom they had bended backwards over for many times before, but when they need the help, people desert them because they are all concerned about themselves. there wouldn't be songs by the artist "Nickleback" titled "If everyone cared."

as you can tell, i'm very passionate about this topic because i have many different perspectives to look at this subject matter; my mother for a first person. if people truly cared back as much as people cared for them, then we wouldn't be in the situation that we are today in terms of social and financial instability.

so, the bottom line is that i agree with everything the post has to say, and what you have to say, but not with the solution it proposes; in fact i think that type of advice would to much more harm than good because each time someone does a good deed for someone, and they don't receive some type of reciprocation for their expectations, then it will further discredit the validity of advice in the future.

ok, now i'll smile.   :mrgreen:
"A man who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man" - Hunter S. Thompson
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Postby breeze » 04 May 07, 7:06 am

This is an interesting subject, desert eagle.
In my own language I could speak few days about that   :D but I'll try to say some words about that in english too.   :?
I will try to answer you first and to explain a little how I understand If you want people to care about you, you should care about them
I think it is about generosity. When I was younger I also considered that it is about a kind of “exchange” But it isn’t. I also was sometimes disappointed, because whenever I tried to do something good I received in exchange the opposite.
In time, during the years I learned that in life it is a sort of  equilibrium, that means not always the good things you give to somebody, you receive back from the same person. And I don’t speak here about goods, about objects. I speak about love, friendship, good energy, feelings, etc. But not only.
I’m talking about the generosity of giving from your heart, from your soul, without expecting something in exchange. I don’t know how other people are, but I’m always happy when I can do something good for somebody, even if that “good” is a word, an advice, some of my time listening to their problems, but of course also a concrete help, or something they need, even if I offer it in the moment I don’t have enough. And here I’m also not necessary speaking about material things, it’s also about love, energy, time, but again, not only.
We are all like magnets.  We attract into our lives and around us those people who generate the same kind of energy we do. But not always we treat them as they need. Or not always they treat us as we need.
As I told you I was many times disappointed, because many of the people I helped in a way or an other, didn’t show me, let’s say, the good part of them.
That’s why I didn’t expect anymore anything in return, I simply preferred to be happy by giving them.
but isn't it also true that the easiest person that a person can fool in life is his own self?”
I agree. That’s so true. Sometimes I simply don’t want to see the truth. I tell myself that nobody can be so bad, I always find reasons for their reactions and those are not always  the good ones. I fooled myself so many times but I’m not sorry.
“i definitely have beef with this new type of attitude in which people believe that life is only about how they percieve themselves;”
I think most people perceive themselves according to the attitude and perception other people have about them. That’s not correct. I consider that your attitude is responsible for the perception other people have about you.
I’m not sure I can explain that in English very good.
If the perception about yourself is weak, that’s the way other people see you. It’s about how you think about yourself, it’s about how much you trust yourself.
We sometimes talk to ourselves. Sometimes we just think the words. But, this "self-talk" has a direct influence on how we perceive ourselves.
Our feelings precede and cause various kinds of behaviors: we frown because we are angry, we have a sad face because we feel depressed, we smile because we feel happy, etc. But, it is a theory which argues that everything is exactly backwards: we first act and the acting creates the feeling. We feel angry because we frown, we are depressed because we have a sad face, we are happy because we smile., etc.

Now, speaking about what FB wrote, about that art of conversation, I think we can’t speak now about what that meant years ago. Not about Bernard Show’s Pygmalion art of conversation. Now everything is more simple (in a way, because I see, in fact is more difficult) because we don’t have those “tabu” anymore, we can speak about everything. But, sometimes as I said somewhere else, “more is less” having the chance and freedom to talk about anything it is more difficult. People became “self sufficient”, blasé, surfeited. It’s not “trendy”, “cool” anymore to have a normal conversation.
I guess internet also “helped” .

OMG   :eek:  I wrote so much.   :D Somebody stop me! :D
FB next time try to ask them questions that don’t require a single word answer. :mrgreen:

I'm sorry, I have so many things in my mind about that and writting in an other language, I think I mixed a lot of things, but I think faster than I can write, or talk, that's why.   :D :D
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Re: The Me-Generation.

Postby Ice Queen » 04 May 07, 8:29 am

fat_bastard wrote:Unfortunately not written by me (I havnt the capacity) but it's true on so many levels!
Unfortunately I'm guilty of rather a lot.



Can anyone else relate to this?

I know I've been living under a rock for a while, but what in the name of god has happened to the art of conversation?!
I used to be able to talk long into the night with a few close friends, and now we go through the same charade of stock questions before coming to an abrupt halt and laughing nervously at the floor.
Of course it's human nature to blame everyone but ourselves, but I accept that half of the problem is me.
At least I make a freaking effort. I only end up talking about myself in the vague hope that someone will pick up on something that they can relate to and join in.
I'll be buggered if that's ever happened.
Trying to get them to talk about themselves is like trying to draw blood from a stone.
I hate talking about myself, I do it enough with professionals, at least they're getting paid for having me throw my emotional baggage at them.
I'd much rather hear somebody else's. Find out about them, what makes them tick. That's what conversation is all about.
In my desperation to make conversation I ask vague questions and pray that they're passionate about something.

Same with real life conversation, just minus the 'lol' and plus the nervous laughter, awkward silences and mutually wondering if you'll both be stuck to the spot, laughing nervously and trying to make conversation.


What's wrong with me?!   :evil:



There's a high school close to where I live now, this is one of the conversations I heard once:

"blah, blah, blah so what do you do in your free time?"
"oh, nothing"
"oh, come on, you gotta do something"
"OK, I read National Geography!"
"Ha, ha, ha, you're a f****** nerd....reading s*** like that!"

and I didn't hear how the conversation ended.

Most of the people I know won't talk about their "stuff" because they're afraid of being "attacked" and then are tooo powerless to stand up for what they like or for what they belive in...Well, here anyway! I've always been opened about my stuff and in high school had really big problems with that-I was a kid with open big dreams-that wasn't cool!-That's what they were telling me but I just didn't care what people would say and think and that's what I think is the problem with today conversations-people are just afraid of how others would see them...It's like-"oh, men if I'm not cool-why bother doing and talking about anything"-That's what's happening here-I don't know about the other places.

PS: Nothing's wrong with you love!   :)
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Postby Dirtzinert » 04 May 07, 11:55 am

And lo and behold...yet another interesting  
&  intelligent conversation...this forum is going to hell, hell I tell you!































I will refrain from getting involved because most of you know I was raised by a tribe of wild Llamas.   :love:
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Postby mid_nite_poet » 04 May 07, 6:01 pm

ImageImageImage
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Postby cerina » 06 May 07, 4:12 pm

You can always trust Dirtz to lower the tone. :lol:

But I wholeheartedly agree with FB, Desert Eagle and Breeze.

The demise of 'conversation' is something that has been discussed for many years and, as usual, television has taken the blame. At one time, families sat down to eat together and that was the opportunity for everyone to contribute to the discussion. Gradually it seems that television has eroded this and more and more people eat their meals on trays in front of the television and the main topic of conversation tends to be "Is that all that's on?" or "Can we watch something else?"

Add to that instant messaging and texting and you can see that some people find it difficult to speak in more than short, 'sound bite' sentences. However, there are still some of us who can talk and, more importantly, can listen and expand on thoughts and ideas.

As for self esteem, again, the media has been blamed and, to some extent I agree. We are constantly fed images and persuaded that if we live up to these ideals we will be happy and fulfilled.

We are never taught that true self esteem has to come from within us, from being confident in ourselves, no matter that we don't match the Kate Moss physical image and all the other commercial rubbish we have shoveled down our throats wherever we turn. We have to learn to like and to be comfortable with yourselves before we can expect other people to like and be comfortable with us.

I have spent my life, both professionally and personally, thinking of and doing things for other people with no wish for any return (apart from my salary at work). It makes me feel good to help other people in whatever way I can, and if I can do it without them finding out that it was me, so much the better.

As Alexander Pope said "Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame". If more people were able to do that, and find the pleasure within themselves for doing it, the world would be a far less mercenary, materialistic and selfish place to live, and maybe I would feel less of an alien living my life the way I do.
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Postby Spirit of Desire » 06 May 07, 4:38 pm

fat_bastard wrote: :lol:
A friend of the family has a son who spends most of his life on an x-box.
But it's ok apparently because he has lots of friends on the network who he talks to. :rolleyes:
Presumably they passionately discuss classic novels and current affairs.


I suspect if she listened a while before putting the tray of food outside his door and running back to her soaps, she'd hear something along the lines of
"Hah! Take that you twat!"
"I'll blow your fucking head off."
"Oh yeah? I'll kick your ass!"
and
"You're a dick!"


i play on my x-box 360 quite a lot and that is pretty much what i shout

once i was playing halo and some girls asked me out so i told her to come with me the moment i got to the rocket launcher i blasted her!!!

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Postby cerina » 06 May 07, 6:24 pm

You're such a romantic, Image.


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Postby Spirit of Desire » 07 May 07, 8:44 am

well there are tanks on this game so i cud have done something much worse
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Postby fat_bastard » 10 May 07, 9:50 am

Yeah, I hate it when women shoot me with tanks.
Just when you think you can trust a girl, she goes and shoots at you.



Still, if that's what passes for 'dating' these days, I might as well roll with it.   :|
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Postby Spirit of Desire » 10 May 07, 1:11 pm

the plasma sword is the worst for deaths
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Postby fat_bastard » 10 May 07, 1:54 pm

Naturally.
That's what happens when you don't notice her highlights.
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Postby Spirit of Desire » 10 May 07, 4:12 pm

:lol:   :lol: :lol: :lol:


i wonder what happens if you dont nitoce her boob job?

probobly warthog ramming
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Postby Flight From Ashiya » 26 May 07, 3:32 pm

cerina wrote:You can always trust Dirtz to lower the tone.   :lol:


But I wholeheartedly agree with FB, Desert Eagle and Breeze.

The demise of 'conversation' is something that has been discussed for many years and, as usual, television has taken the blame. At one time, families sat down to eat together and that was the opportunity for everyone to contribute to the discussion. Gradually it seems that television has eroded this and more and more people eat their meals on trays in front of the television and the main topic of conversation tends to be "Is that all that's on?" or "Can we watch something else?"

Add to that instant messaging and texting and you can see that some people find it difficult to speak in more than short, 'sound bite' sentences. However, there are still some of us who can talk and, more importantly, can listen and expand on thoughts and ideas.

As for self esteem, again, the media has been blamed and, to some extent I agree. We are constantly fed images and persuaded that if we live up to these ideals we will be happy and fulfilled.

We are never taught that true self esteem has to come from within us, from being confident in ourselves, no matter that we don't match the Kate Moss physical image and all the other commercial rubbish we have shoveled down our throats wherever we turn. We have to learn to like and to be comfortable with yourselves before we can expect other people to like and be comfortable with us.

I have spent my life, both professionally and personally, thinking of and doing things for other people with no wish for any return (apart from my salary at work). It makes me feel good to help other people in whatever way I can, and if I can do it without them finding out that it was me, so much the better.

As Alexander Pope said "Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame". If more people were able to do that, and find the pleasure within themselves for doing it, the world would be a far less mercenary, materialistic and selfish place to live, and maybe I would feel less of an alien living my life the way I do.


:clap: Hear,hear!-well said Cerina.
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                      'Love of Money'.

Money creates ugliness.E.g.:Look at modern architecture.
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Postby Napper » 26 May 07, 7:25 pm

Flight From Ashiya wrote:  
Money creates ugliness.E.g.:Look at modern architecture.


Not always but in the case of  THIS  house, true IMHO. Wonderfully modern and super energy efficient though it is, the owners built it in one of Scotlands most scenic areas, the Campsie Fells. Why not stick a wind turbine or 6 in the garden while you're at it, I thought. :evil:

Then there's THIS,St Mungo Museum of Religious Life and Art, right in the centre of Glasgow and believe it or not, built in 1993. Not "restored" or "upgraded", built!

You choose. Countryside. Town. Which building (style wise) would you put where?
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Postby Flight From Ashiya » 30 Jun 07, 2:47 pm

Napper wrote:
Flight From Ashiya wrote:  
Money creates ugliness.E.g.:Look at modern architecture.


Not always but in the case of  THIS  house, true IMHO. Wonderfully modern and super energy efficient though it is, the owners built it in one of Scotlands most scenic areas, the Campsie Fells. Why not stick a wind turbine or 6 in the garden while you're at it, I thought. :evil:

Then there's THIS,St Mungo Museum of Religious Life and Art, right in the centre of Glasgow and believe it or not, built in 1993. Not "restored" or "upgraded", built!

You choose. Countryside. Town. Which building (style wise) would you put where?



I don't like the first building at all Napper,however energy efficient & carbon emissions reduced.It isn't aesthetic enough ;looks too practical.
The second house is almost a medieval castle- in mock-tudor style.You would surmise it was period rather than modern-admittedly.
I was watching the opening sessions of the 'Scottish Parliament' today & I thought the interior reminded me of my old school hall when examinations were taking place!. :rotflmao:

My award for the biggest & most expensive blot on the landscape goes to:
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-The New Wembley Stadium.
Who says the 'Millenium Dome' was the last word in money-inspired architecture?.
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