Doctors Surgery's.

It really bites the big one - vent you'll feel better

Doctors Surgery's.

Postby fat_bastard » 16 Oct 07, 1:00 pm

It's that time of the year again, and I've come down with a damn chest infection.
I can't complain, I've gone two years without a sniffle. :dontknow:

Unfortunately, I can't buy antibiotics over the counter, so I had to make a doctors appointment.
Even then, they just advised that I take paracetamol. Bastards.
I want industrial, micro-organism massacring tablets from hell! The ones that if used too often cause virus's to evolve in such a way that nothing short of a nuclear explosion with the power of a small planet colliding with ours could kill it.

I want to feel good again!

*cough* Literally. :(


Anyhoo, there I was, sat in the building that I believe to have been designed by Swedish architects to make you feel 10 times shittier than you already do.
Even if you're dying.

The main thing that pisses me off is that there's always some prick who, despite there being many many seats which are free of people, decides to sit right next to me.
Then he coughs his guts up, licks his finger, and flicks the pages of what ever female orientated trash he's picked up in such a way that the displaced air goes right in my face.
As if I'm not ill enough, this imbecile has to try to add to my problems.

Then there's the music. Oh god! The music!
It's always the kind of stuff that is sold at garden centres. The kind of unobtrusive, mind numbing hippy music that you always say "Ooh! That's nice!" and never play.
Ever.
I had to sit there for 20 minutes listening to various already awful pop songs translated into pan pipes.
You think Eternal Flame sounds bad? Try listening to it being played benignly in pan pipes.
On the bright side, if you've got a terminal illness, it reminds you that there's so much in this world you can live without.

Then there's the elderly regulars that treat the surgery as a social club.

My balls jump into my throat whenever I hear "Oh! Hello Julie!".
Suddenly, the bleak silence -intermittently broken by somebody coughing- is substituted for the mindless gossip of the elderly woman.
The place is so damn quiet that you have no other option but to hear all about her broken hip, her great nephews drug problems, and how her husband is doing.
I can tell you all now, her husband has had a stroke, and has difficulty communicating with her.
I also know, thank god, that she left him watching the football while she gets her flu jab.
I can do without unintentionally having my head filled with other peoples garbage.
Just as the nurse calls one of them out of the waiting room, another one of the not-quite-dead ambles in, stinking of cheap perfume and cod liver oil, and it starts again.

Then there are always the unintentional queue jumpers.
I know it's the luck of the draw, but I get really frustrated when I've been sat in a sticky chair, waiting for an appointment which should have been half an hour ago, and some lucky bastard with a mere check-up appointment gets called in to see their doctor before they get a chance to sit down.

The waiting room itself really can't be hygienic. The carpet is clean, and there isn't puke up the walls, but there's absolutely no ventilation whatsoever!
Surely a low emergency surgery that deals predominately with airborne virus's would have some way of letting our collective coughs and sneezes out!
It must be hell for people who have just come in to have their dodgy knee checked out.
They probably leave with more than they came in with.
It's always so stuffy in there. That adds to the feeling of claustrophobia, and if I'm ill, I really don't want to feel any more stuffed up.

On the bright side, I had a pretty Russian lady doctor.
After we got talking, she asked me to take my top off.
It was natural progression really.




The stethoscope was cold, though. :love:
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby breeze » 16 Oct 07, 1:22 pm

Oh FB! :hug: :hug: I can try to suggest you some natural medication, some special onion tea, :D etc, but I don't know if you want. :?
There are a lot of old remedy and therapy which, sometimes are better than antibiotics. :D
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby breeze » 16 Oct 07, 2:19 pm

Well even if you don't want, I'll give you some natural therapy for cold, caugh, etc.
Of course, an antibiotic is more efficient and we can still buy them without receipe, but when my son was very young I gave him antibiotic only when it was absolutelly necesary. He made very often laryngitis and I simply couldn't give him all the time.
Onion tea (I searched on google and I could find in english simply onion tea, but this is not good)
Take 6 small onions (they have to have those yellow leafs) wash them very good, cut them and put them in 1 liter water (35.19 ounce ) to boil. Add 6 walnuts (well washed, broken, with shell), 6 tablespoons with honey and one lemon. Boil them together till the liquid is 1/2.
Put the liquid in a small bottle and drink from time to time. (you have to finish the bottle in one day.)

Black radish syrup.
Take one big black radish, make a wide hole, not very deep and an other one from one side to the other one of the radish, but very thin. Put sugar (or honey)in the wide hole and put the radish on a glass. The sugar will melt over the night and together with the radish juice will be colected in the glass. It will be not very much, but you have to drink that juice with a teaspoon, little by little. Cut an other area from the radish and repeat.

Before you go to bed put on your chest (in a towel, of course) warm salt (warm, not hot) and keep it there for 15-20 minutes.

Drink as much as you can, lemon juice, or other Vit C.
If I remember something else, I'll tell you. :hug:
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby breeze » 16 Oct 07, 2:45 pm

I forgot about garlic. The best natural antibiotic. It smells horrible, I know, but it is very good. :D
http://pubs.acs.org/subscribe/journals/ ... news4.html

And you can find other sites, maybe better than this one.
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby Ice Queen » 16 Oct 07, 4:06 pm

The medicine guy gave you paracetamol???? I knew it! That asshole! I told you once they're no good-10000000000000000000000 pages to memorize and forget it till tomorow and then just advise you to take a shitty paracetamol...hmmmmm, those doctors! I think you should listen to breeze! Really! She knows the best! :D

And don't forget cammomile tea with honey.It will kill your stress over all this! :D
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby cerina » 16 Oct 07, 8:24 pm

The best remedy ever to get rid of colds and flu?


German beer ... hot.

Open the can, stand it in a pan of water and bring the water to the boil. Drink the beer as hot as possible.

Yes, the beer goes flat and yes, it does taste absolutely bloody revolting, but it works.
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby fat_bastard » 17 Oct 07, 6:09 am

breeze wrote:Well even if you don't want, I'll give you some natural therapy for cold, caugh, etc.
Of course, an antibiotic is more efficient and we can still buy them without receipe, but when my son was very young I gave him antibiotic only when it was absolutelly necesary. He made very often laryngitis and I simply couldn't give him all the time.
Onion tea (I searched on google and I could find in english simply onion tea, but this is not good)
Take 6 small onions (they have to have those yellow leafs) wash them very good, cut them and put them in 1 liter water (35.19 ounce ) to boil. Add 6 walnuts (well washed, broken, with shell), 6 tablespoons with honey and one lemon. Boil them together till the liquid is 1/2.
Put the liquid in a small bottle and drink from time to time. (you have to finish the bottle in one day.)

Black radish syrup.
Take one big black radish, make a wide hole, not very deep and an other one from one side to the other one of the radish, but very thin. Put sugar (or honey)in the wide hole and put the radish on a glass. The sugar will melt over the night and together with the radish juice will be colected in the glass. It will be not very much, but you have to drink that juice with a teaspoon, little by little. Cut an other area from the radish and repeat.

Before you go to bed put on your chest (in a towel, of course) warm salt (warm, not hot) and keep it there for 15-20 minutes.

Drink as much as you can, lemon juice, or other Vit C.
If I remember something else, I'll tell you. :hug:



Thanks for the information, Breeze! :hug:

I might just have to try onion tea.
I assume it tastes like caramelised onions rather than raw. :)
There are rarely any radishes in the fridge, but it sounds interesting. :thumb:


Garlic is a good idea too. I was going to mention that last night.
I could get some garlic tablets from the chemist. Thank god I won't be kissing anybody. :lol:

Maybe some whisky mixed in with a honey and lemon tea would be good.
Though I've taken paracetamol, so maybe not. :?
That also rules out German beer, though I suppose you'd pretty much cook all of the alcohol out of it anyway. Plus I assume it's only 0.5%. :dontknow:

The medicine guy gave you paracetamol???? I knew it! That asshole! I told you once they're no good-10000000000000000000000 pages to memorize and forget it till tomorow and then just advise you to take a shitty paracetamol...hmmmmm, those doctors! I think you should listen to breeze! Really! She knows the best! :D

And don't forget cammomile tea with honey.It will kill your stress over all this!


Glorified chemists, the lot of them! :razz: :mrgreen:
I can understand why they're reluctant to prescribe antibiotics, what with all of this super bug hoo hah.

I've got camomile tea! I'll try that too.



Sheesh, if I carry on like this I'm going to have herbs coming out of every orifice. :eek:
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby Maxie » 17 Oct 07, 9:04 am

Thing is though, if it's a viral infection, antibiotics are next to useless. Antibiotics are used to treat bacterial infections.

You need to build up your immune system to fight back

1 gr of vitamin C twice a day
Echinacea (a natural antibiotic )twice a day
Zinc pastille
real menthol cough drops

and rub your chest with mustard oigent

-------------
Garlic: A very powerful anti-viral, garlic can be of real help to those trying to avoid infections and lung congestion.

Sage: This is one of the most useful of all herbs and is said to be good for whatever it is taken for. It is antiviral and bactericidal.

Echinacea: Echinacea is a powerful immune system stimulant and will strengthen the body in general, warding off colds and infections.

-----------
The secret to this hot toddy and home remedy for chest congestion is that these ingredients have to be heated to boil, on the stove in a saucepan, not in the microwave. Bringing honey and lemon to a boil changes its chemistry and instead of being a food it turns into homeopathic medicine.


Squeeze the juice from 2 lemons and put into a saucepan (fresh lemons, not lemon juice from a bottle).
Add ΒΌ cup of honey to saucepan, bring to a boil
Set boiled honey and lemon aside and let cool for a few minutes.
Add a generous shot of rum
Let everything cool until it's just warm. You can take this mixture a tablespoon at a time as needed or you can mix it with a hot cup of tea. You can also mix the honey and lemon with a shot of whisky, either way it's a tasty home remedy for chest.

a hot water bottle. There is nothing more comforting when you're sick than an old-fashioned hot water bottle. Place it between your shoulder blades and just relax on it for about 30 minutes at a time.

They are natural and safe ways to relieve the symptoms it's up to your body's natural immune system to cure the disease itself.
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby breeze » 17 Oct 07, 9:33 am

:D We have here a saying, that the best therapy for cold is the poor's aspirine. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


Which is.........sex. :D :D
If everything we told you here doesn't work, try the poor's aspirine, will work for sure. :D :mrgreen:
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Re: Doctors Surgery's.

Postby Flight From Ashiya » 17 Oct 07, 2:11 pm

Let's hope Breeze's medicinal remedies help clear up your chest infection FB. Otherwise we'll have to resort to giving you:

'The BOF Super-Strength 'Rangoon Swamp' chesty cough mixture




.....But only to be taken in small doses unless you want this to happen:





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