The beatings will continue until morale improves.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Never quit until you have another job.

Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore

Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free.

If at first you don't succeed--try management.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!

Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent

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