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Stupid Laws from Illinois


You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.

The English language is not to be spoken.

No one may stand on the sidewalk on the 500 block of Illinois Ave. (Carbondale)

One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. (Champaign)

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. (Chicago)

It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. (Chicago)

Kites may not be flown within the city limits. (Chicago)

Spitting is forbidden (Chicago)

In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. (Chicago)

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. (Chicago)

Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. (Cicero)

Cars may not be driven through the town. (Crete)

If one wishes to plant new sod in his or her yard in the summer months, that person may not use the city's water to water it. Additionally, the resident must obtain a permit from the city to water the lawn with outside water sources. ( Crystal Lake)

Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees. (Des Plaines)

A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman. (Eureka)

Bowling is forbidden. (Evanston)

It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire. (Evanston)

It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise. (Fairfield)(Repealed)

It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window. (Freeport)

There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats. (Galesburg)

No person may keep a smelly dog. (Galesburg)

It is illegal to burn bird feathers. (Galesburg)

Jostling others is illegal. (Galesburg)

No bicyclist may practice "fancy riding" on any city street. (Galesburg)

It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer. (Horner)

Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine. (Joliet)

A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence. (Kenilworth)

Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's streets. (Kirkland)

Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited. (Moline)

There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue. (Moline)

It is against the law to make faces at dogs. (Normal)

No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling. (Orland Park)

Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense. (Ottowa)

Trucks may only park inside closed garages. (Park Ridge)

Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway. (Peoria)

It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals. (Zion)