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More Funny Sexy Lines



Can I see your tan lines?

Why don’t we get drunk and screw?

I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Would you like to participate?

Whip it out and show me what you got, I want to make sure I'm not  disappointed later.

Would you screw a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...

I am a magical being, take off your bra

I love you. I want to marry you. Now screw my brains out

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked

Nice dress, let's screw?

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

We shouldn't waste this day. What do you say we use these condoms?

Let's screw like bunnies

Smash an ice cube and say

"Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment

 and make wild passionate love

Take off that dress and screw my brains out PLEASE

Let's go get liquored up and rape each other

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

Show me your pussy!

If I take off my clothes, will you make love to me?

I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick

the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.

If you were a screen door I’d bang you all day long

I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart

The only reason I would kick you out of bed

would be to have sex with you on the floor

Nothing could be finer than the taste of your vagina

I love you! Your place or mine?

Do you have a beard on your pussy? (No.) Want one?

Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to rub it?

Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice

Lie down. I think I love you.

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.

Hi. My name is Horny Bush. I'll be your play toy tonight.

Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?

You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

Nice pants, can I test the zipper?

Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.

What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo

and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar?

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?

Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap

and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

You smell wet. Let's Party.

Hey, kitten. How about spending one of your nine lives with me?

Hi. Can I domesticate you?

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?

I'm a freelance gynecologist.

How long has it been since your last checkup?

Um...I need a little help with my Calculus

can you integrate my natural log?

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.

I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.

Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.

Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

Do you have room in your life for another friend?

Are you cold? Let me be your electric blanket.

Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.

Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Do you think that if I am good this year,

he'll put you in my stocking this year?

You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

I'm sterile

Hello, well-formed Homo sapien specimen. Would you care to

depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and

observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo sapien

individual just prior to fertilization?

Many people will walk in and out of your life.

But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart.

And you my dear have left one great leap on mine!

Hi my name is Gene Simmons (Kiss)

Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guinness Book of World's Records

actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?

I can play the Flight of the Bumble Bee on a touchtone phone with my tongue.

I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.

Let's play "Titanic." When I say "Iceberg!" you do down.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there.

So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!

I'll bet you $20 my dick can't fit into your mouth.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?

You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.

Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

Can I have directions to your heart?

Are you religious? Cause you are the answer to all my prayers.

If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.

I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?

You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King:

You treat me right, and I'll do it your way

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Would you like to screw?

I'm easy. Are you?

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