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Funny Pickup Lines



First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me

May I pleasure you with my tongue?

Do you like cheesy pickup lines or do you just want to do it?

I've got a great big cock!

Hi I'm (your name) I swallow

Nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?

Fuck me, I'm beautiful

Mines bigger than his. Want proof?

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under

I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.

Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light.

It’s a comet that is streaking towards us.

 It will be here in about 3 hours. So would you like to have sex?

Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration,

a guy sticks his aspiration, in a girl's reception,

to increase the population, for the next generation,

did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

Nice fucking weather. Want to?

Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste?

Would you like to experiment and find out.

You remind me of a blue ribbon bass. I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

I'm not a slut I'm popular. Screw me and you can be the Big Man on Campus.

I just got a prescription for Viagra. Would you help me try it out?

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning

Roses are blue, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?

Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.

This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.

I'm hard. Are you wet?

If you won't screw me, can I screw you?

You're dead sexy. Get in my pussy!

I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room

& test out all of my condoms?

The Lord gave us the power to procreate. So, let's practice!

What do I have to do to be your booty call?

Do you believe in free love? Good lets go!

I have a 10-inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.

Hey baby, I'll screw you so hard the neighbors will be having a cigarette when we're done.

Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.

Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?

I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed cats NOW

Can I put my thing in your thing?

Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?

Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!

I’m starring in a porno movie. Would you help me learn my lines?

Cold out isn't it? (Staring at breasts)

Do you know the difference between sex and conversation? (No.)

Would you like to go upstairs and talk.?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?

Can I please be your slave tonight?

(Use index finger to call someone over then say)

I made you come with one finger; imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

Can I flirt with you?

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.

Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

I think I could fall madly in lust with you.

I wonder what our children will look like.

You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

Does God know you've escaped from Heaven?

Come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.

What would you like for breakfast? Why?

Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.

I had a wet dream about you last night. Help me make it a reality.

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

I've got the ship; you've got the harbor, what say we dock for the night?

If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?

Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Lie down. I think I love you.


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