Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation,
get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be
executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did
the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked
if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity
Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on
the behalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to
the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I
just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power
of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all
immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you knew it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well,
I'm from the University of Kentucky and just graduated with a degree in
Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna
electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in.
Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.
"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.
"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"
A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many textures, prints and hues of pink fabrics. Once she has finally picked out a pink floral pattern, the salesman asked her "What sizes do you need?"
She replies "15 inches."
He exclaims "15 INCHES?! What room are they for?" She says, "I only need one, and it's not for a room. It's for my computer monitor."
The surprised salesman exclaims, "Miss, computers do not have curtains."
The blond says "HELLOOooooooo.... I've got Windows!"
