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Short Funny Blonde Jokes

Why did... Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

Because it said 'concentrate'.

Why do blondes work seven days a week?

So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons?

You can also sit upright in a car.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board .

How does a blonde like her eggs?


What's the definition of a metallurgist?

A man who can tell if a platinum blonde is a virgin metal or a common ore

What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?

Elvis has been sighted .

What's the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

Some traffic signs say stop

What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?

The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?

The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

She turned it over and used the other side

What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her ear?

Thanks for the refill .

Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?

Because he didn't want them pooping in the streets during parades

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

Wave to her

How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?

Shine a torch in her ears

How do you drown a blond?

Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool

Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out

How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?

The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard .

How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?


Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?

Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat

What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?

One that never misses a period .

What is every blonde's ambition in life?

To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

What can save a dying blonde?

Hair transplants.

What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?

Third Grade .

What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?

She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans .

What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?

Marriage .

What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?

A hundred dollar bill .

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?

It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?

Last years hide and go seek winner.

What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A whine cellar

What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?


What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?

They both have a black box.

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