Sharing Humor, Beauty and Art

Ford and Renault are working on new small car by combining the Clio and the Taurus. The new car will be called Clitaurus, The new car comes in pink and the average male wont be able to find it, let alone turn it on ... even if someone tells him where it's located.

Early reports claim that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and it can be extremely difficult to warm in the morning.

Watching the kids play, she notices a boy standing alone at the edge of the field while all the other kids are running around having fun with a ball.
She takes pity on him and asks if he is Okay.
He replies that he was just fine.
"You do know that you can go and play with the other kids", she says.
"Its best I stay here" he said.
"But why?" asks the blonde.
The boys replies "Because I'm the goalie"

Recently at an Irish wedding reception someone yelled… ''Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made their life worth living''.

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy little nose.

“Oh please excuse me,” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.”

“That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be sure, it was my fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind too, and I didn’t see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?”

“Well, I really don’t know,” said the bunny. “I’m blind, and I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.” So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, “Well, you’re soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!

The bunny said, “I can’t thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?”

The snake replied that he didn’t know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, “Well, what kind of an animal am I?”

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, “You’re cold, you’re slippery, and you haven’t got any balls…. You must be a politician.”

Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:

1. To plant your idea in someone’s head.

2. To plant someone’s money in your own pocket.

The one who succeeds at the former- is a ‘teacher’.

The one who succeeds at the latter- is a ‘boss’.

The one who succeeds at both is a ‘wife’.

The one who fails at both is a ‘husband’!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray ?"

The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke ?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son.
By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."